24 Hours to Live/Transcript
Scene 1: P.S. 118 Playground (Arnold is floating in space while the camera pans down to Earth.) ;Helga:(echoing) Arnold! Arnold! Arnold, Arnold, Arnold! Hey Arnold! ;Arnold: Huh?!? ;Helga: Move it, Football Head, you're up! ;Arnold: (to himself) The wind's in the east. I should probably shoot for the gap between second and third. ;Gerald: Just try not to get hit, OK? ;Arnold: Yeah, good strategy. ;Helga: OK, move in! This guy can't hit! No stick, no stick! ;Harold: Ooh, look who's up. It's Arnold. ;Gerald: C'mon, Arnold, pace it! ;Harold: Thought you came to play a little baseball, huh, Arnold? ;Helga: Just throw the ball, Blimpo. ;Harold: Hey! Don’t call me Blimpo. I have a gland problem. ''(Harold throws the ball but Arnold misses the first hit.) ;Helga: Strike one! ;Harold: Boy, what a good swing, Arnold. What powerful arms. ;Helga: (throwing the ball back to Harold) C'mon, c'mon! ;Harold: (catching the ball) Alright already, keep your shirt on, Helga! For all our sakes. (Harold throws the ball the second time but Arnold misses the second hit.) ;Helga: (throwing the ball back to Harold) Strike two! ;Harold: (catching the ball) Ooh, good one! Who taught you to bat, anyway? Your looney Grandma? ;Arnold: (spits his hand) Just throw it. (Harold throws the ball the third time and Arnold hits it but the ball hits Harold.) ;Stinky: Harold, are you alright? ;Helga: Say something, Pink Boy! ;Harold: G'night, mommy. (Helga takes off her umpire helmet and hits Harold's face.) ;Harold: W-what happened?!? ;Helga: Arnold beaned ya. ;Harold: Who? ;Helga: (imitating Harold) Arnold! (points) ;Arnold: (nervously) Well, it was just a lucky swing. (throws his bat away) (Harold walks closer to Arnold.) ;Kids: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! ;Helga: Wait, don't touch him! ;Kids: Ooh! ;Harold: Why not? ;Helga: Well... um, because he wants to wait a day, that's why. ;Harold: I do. ;Helga: Yeah, you know, let him dangle a while. Make him think about what he did to ya. ;Harold: Make him think about what he did, yeah. OK, here's the deal. Tomorrow, Arnold, right here, it's clobbering time! Yeah! (laughs) ;Kids: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! ;Harold: Hey, wait a minute. Tomorrow? What if he leaves town? ;Helga: Don't worry, he's not going anywhere. I'll keep an eye on him. (Harold laughs and Arnold gulps.) Scene 2: The Street ;Arnold: (kicks a can) Well, Gerald, it's been knowing you. Try to remember me as I am now, okay? Not as I will be tomorrow, dead. ;Gerald: C'mon, Arnold, just 'cause Harold says he's gonna kill ya doesn't mean he's gonna actually do it. ;Arnold: He sounded like he meant it. ;Gerald: Yeah, but you know Harold. His short time memory is gone. The guy can't remember what he had for breakfast so how is he gonna remember he's gonna kill you tomorrow? ;Arnold: Yeah, maybe you're right. ;Gerald: Sure, I bet by now, everybody's forgotten all about it. There's not a kid in the whole city who'll even remember this stupid fight. ;Helga: (on the bus) Hey Arnold, 23 hours until you die! (laughs) (Gerald holds up a note.) ;Arnold: What's this? CD player, roller blades, hockey stick. ;Gerald: That's just the list of your stuff that I've kinda had my eye on, you know, if worst comes worse. ;Arnold: Thanks, Gerald ;Gerald: Don't mention it. Scene 3: The Bus ;Helga: (laughs) Arnold, that moron how I hate him and yet... (holds up her Arnold locket) ...I love him. So mysterious, so suave, such as a sustainably shaped-little head. You'll ignore me but deep down, you know how I really feel. It's love, love, love! (Brainy wheezes at Helga on the bus but Helga hits him on the head.) Scene 4: The Sunset Arms ;Arnold: You wanna come up and eat with us? ;Gerald: Your Grandma's cooking tonight? ;Arnold: Yeah. ;Gerald: No thanks, I gotta go wash my dog. ;Arnold: (thumbs up) See you tomorrow. ;Gerald: See ya. Don't worry, everything will be okay and take care of that list, man. (Arnold opens the door while the animals run out.) ;Arnold: Grandma? (The downstairs phone rings.) ;Arnold: (picks up the phone) Hello? ;Helga: (on the phone) 22 hours, 46 minutes until you die! (Arnold hangs up the phone. Grandpa comes out of the bathroom.) ;Arnold: Hey Grandpa, I got a problem. ;Grandpa: Shoot it at me, Shortman! ;Arnold: You see, there's this big jerk at school. He says he's gonna... ;Grandpa: ...Says he's gonna beat you up, eh? ;Arnold: Um, yeah. ;Grandpa: Gonna give you 24 hours to dangle, eh? ;Arnold: That's right. ;Grandpa: Big guy, huh? Slow but with lots of power, squash him like a bug, eh? ;Arnold: Yeah, yeah, what should I do? ;Grandpa: I have no idea. ;Arnold: I got to think of something, Grandpa. ;Grandpa: Well, you could skip town but then you'd have to live for the rest of your life in fear always looking up in your shoulder waiting for that day. You try reasoning with him. Oh, a moron, eh? Well, Arnold, I wish I knew what to tell you. In 80 years, I think I've only learned one thing for sure. ;Arnold: What's that? ;Grandpa: Never eat raspberries. Gotta go. (Grandpa enters the bathroom and Arnold climbs up the stairs.) ;Arnold: Grandma, Grandma. ;Grandma: (swats a fly) Come on in, Kimba. ;Arnold: No, Grandma, it's me, Arnold. ;Grandma: Oh, I know but right now, you'll be Kimba, (to the fly on the phone) he'll be the man-eating tiger (the fly hears her high-pitched voice) and I'll be Blonna. ;Arnold: OK, Grandma, I mean, Blonna. I need some advice. ;Grandma: Certainly. (pops her finger) Always stay down end of your price, carry plenty of ammo and eat everything you kill! (Grandma swats the phone but the fly flies away and the phone rings.) Hello? It's for you, my savage friend. ;Arnold: Would you take a message? ;Grandma: Kimba's not available right now. (writes down with her pencil) Uh-huh, uh-huh, 22 hours and 3 minutes till you... Was that dry or fry, dear? Die, yes alright, dear. Underline 3 times. Yes, you bet. Thank you for calling. Scene 5: Arnold's Room (Arnold turns on the stereo, the lights and couch with the remote control. He sits down on the couch and the phone rings but Arnold pulls the phone off.) ; Helga: (on the megaphone) Arnold, hey Arnold! 21 hours, 15 minutes and (looks at her watch) 14 seconds until you die! (Arnold closes the window.) Scene 5: Arnold's Room at Night ; Helga: on the megaphone) 16 hours, 21 minutes and 12 seconds until you die! 16 hours, 20 minutes and 59 seconds until you die! (Arnold sleeps in bed with his pajamas.) ;Kids: Fight, fight, fight, fight! ;Harold: It's clobbering time. ;Grandpa: Squash, you like a bug, eh? ;Harold: Your looney Grandma? ;Grandpa: Never eat raspberries. Scene 6: Arnold's Dream (Arnold runs on the roofs and the giants Helga, Harold and Stinky run after him.) ;Helga: (laughs) Come on down, Arnold. We're gonna get you anyway. ;Arnold: (on top of the building) Back, back I say! (holding up a bat) ;Harold: Ooh, he's got a bat! What are you gonna do, Arnold? Swing it at us? ;Arnold: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna swing it, I'm gonna swing it all day! (laughing and grunting) ;Helga: He's crazy! ;Harold: Run! Help me! ;Arnold: I'm crazy, crazy! (laughing) Scene 7: The Sunset Arms ;Radio D.J.: It's 7 o'clock on K-I-L-L. This one goes out to Arnold who's going to die in 2 hours, 6 minutes and 47 seconds from Helga who hates you. (Arnold takes out his boombox and leaves the boarding house while the animals enter. Abner holds up a newspaper and Arnold looks at it and it says "Arnold to Die Today". Arnold throws the newspaper away and walks with Gerald.) Scene 8: The Street (Harold, Stinky and Joey are walking. The men at the ice cream parlor watching wrestling on television while Arnold and Gerald passes outside.) ;Helga: (on megaphone) New morning line, Arnold goes down in 6 seconds! Any takers? ;Iggy: (giving a dollar) I'm in, man. (Eugene gives to Helga another dollar.) ;Harold: Well, where is he? ;Helga: Don't worry, he'll be here. ;Stinky: There he is! ;Harold: So Arnold, you decided to show up. Now why don't you make it easy on yourself and hold still while I pound that football head of yours flat? ;Arnold: Before you do, there's something you should know, Harold. ;Harold: What? ;Arnold: I'm crazy and you should never hit a crazy person. ;Harold: Oh, Arnold's crazy! If you're so crazy, prove it! ;Arnold: OK. (turns on the boombox) 1, 2, 3, grunt Watch me! Hey! Watch me! Hey! Now you think you got to put me down Now you think you got to push me all around But wait, don't hit me! I'll hit me! To the brim! Hey, alright Gotcha, gotcha, c'mon Got to feel it, huh, in your body Baby, man, hey! I got a date I got to, got to, break a plate Don't hit me, I'll hit me! I'm crazy! YEAAAAAAH! (turns off the boombox) ;Harold: Wow, you really are crazy. Wanna join our club? (The kids cheer.) ;Stinky: He's wacko. ;Helga: Oh, he did it. My love really did it. (Brainy wheezes at Helga with a bandage on his nose but Helga hits him.) Hey, wait a minute, no fair! What about the fight? I sold tickets. There's gotta be a fight. ;Harold: OK. (to Iggy and Joey) You two guys fight. ;Iggy: Oh, OK. (Iggy and Joey fight together. The kids cheer and picks up Arnold while leaving. Gerald winks at Helga.) ;Helga: Boys are so stupid. Category:24 Hours to Live Category:Episode transcripts